


spirit and opportunity

by whatsthepointe



Category: Lego Ninjago
Genre: angst babey!, episode 97, just saying ill probably have to update this bc hes gonna fall is ns13, not beta read we die like zane or cole in every other season, slight spoilers for ns10/11/12, so slight spoilers for s13, tw: blood and injury, update: yeah i did
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:34:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24292927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatsthepointe/pseuds/whatsthepointe
Summary: There is only one thing worse than being alone (which Cole was) and that was being too late (which the ninja feared they were).Often, once you realize this, it's already been too late._________________________________________________________________________________________________________________study/rewrite of episode 97 and all the other times Cole has fallen.
Comments: 13
Kudos: 45





	1. prologue- opportunity.

Prologue-  **opportunity.**

Here’s a fun fact- everything dies (even robotic rovers).

On June 10th, 2018, NASA received its final transmission from the rover Opportunity. 

Opportunity was special in many ways. When she was developed, she had a life expectancy of ninety days. Instead, she stuck up her robotic middle finger to scientists and lived for fifteen years. Another way Opportunity was special was that she found water on the red planet. Cool, right? To know that worlds other than your own were once habitable?

Opportunity was a child, yet she was dying. She had been dying since July 8th, 2003. She was just another something for death to claim. She was born to die. 

A storm brewed in Mars’ atmosphere on June 9th, 2018. Opportunity was aware of the storm. She was aware of her own death, even- but the rover knew she couldn’t outrun the storm  _ (as many of us have tried to do). _ She said, loosely, “My battery is low and it’s getting dark.” NASA played her a love song so she’d be at ease as the storm consumed her. She died alone. 

Do you think Opportunity was scared?

Alone, freezing, and aware that she was drowning in the sea of mortality? I, the author, would have been.

A special child like Opportunity didn’t deserve to die. Yet here Cole Brookestone, a child, lay broken and festering with a storm brewing in the atmosphere and no one to play him a love song. 

It felt like he was born to die too. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey y'all...back at it again rewriting the same episode
> 
> i do have a tumblr now! and constructive criticism is totally welcome :)
> 
> http://imthepointe.tumblr.com/


	2. icarus.

**icarus.** gravity. the sea. now. never. nothing. alone.

Nya sighed. “How much farther till the distress call?”

Zane looked up from the computer. “We should be approaching it now,” (but it’s kind of hard to say when the city has been completely enveloped in deadly fog).

“I don’t see it,” Cole remarked. Actually, he didn’t see anything. Just darkness. 

_Silence._

Kai’s eyes quickly scanned the horizon until they landed upon the top of a building. “There. That has to be it.”

“That’s the Ninjago News Center,” Nya eyed warily. Her brother stepped closer to the edge of the ship as if to get a better look. “And it’s covered in those...things,” he added. 

Cole stiffened. He’s been a victim of close calls, they all have, but he didn’t like to think about what would have happened if Nya didn’t receive their distress signal. What would happen to them if the fog smothered them? He looked away from the approaching building. 

“They didn’t evacuate in time.”

Nya’s hands gripped the Bounty’s steering wheel with a newfound determination and she raised her voice. “Ok, I’ll bring us in over the rooftop. Get them out of here before the clouds swallow the building.”

Jay and Cole looked at each other. The two grinned- they knew exactly what to do.

That’s the thing about best friends, Jay decided, is that you don’t have to even say anything and they’re right behind you- whether it be helping citizens escape the Oni’s fog of death or just helping you with silly antics.

_“C’mon!”_

The two slid down the ladder and onto the top of the building. 

Cole’s feet hit the roof and he turned to face the crowd of restless people. “Need a lift?” 

The people at NGTV were visibly relieved to see their saviors. They’d rather _not_ be consumed by the Oni fog...and honestly, no one knew what the dark clouds were, but it was obvious everyone was terrified of them- even the ninja. 

“We are so glad to see you,” a man breathed. His expression was some mix between gratitude and fear, but worrisome nevertheless.

Cole sometimes thinks people assume the ninja aren’t scared of anything. They’ve battled ghosts, dragons, each other, and hell, they’ve fought Garmadon _how many times has it been now?_ Cole and Jay watched as people climbed the ladder onto the Bounty, where Kai and Zane stood. 

And, Cole thought, he truthfully wasn’t scared of the fog itself. He was mortified of what was in it. Like how people aren’t exactly afraid of the dark, just what’s inside of it. 

Cole watched more people one by one climb up the ladder. One by one. 

From across the roof, he locked eyes with Jay, who pointed behind him and mouthed ‘ _hurry_ .’ Cole didn’t even need to turn around to know that Jay was warning him that black tendrils of clouds snaked towards him. He didn’t need to get caught up in that- he needed to get on the Bounty. _Fast._

Miraculously, though, Cole’s voice held steady as he addressed the remaining few people. “Um, a little quicker? Please?” 

Jay was also clearly panicking, but at least he hadn’t reached his state of existential calmness, which Cole, Kai, and Zane had collectively decided was somehow _way worse._ Cole wondered if Jay could tell that he was kind of scared, too. 

Jay’s eyes widened and he sputtered. “Creepy black vines closing in!”

Finally, the line of stranded citizens had reached its end- Jay began crawling up the ladder on his side. There was only one woman left to climb up Cole’s side of the ladder- Gayle Gossip stood, laptop in hand, facing Cole. “You should know,” she pointed a well-manicured finger at his chest, “you just ruined one heck of a broadcast.”

Yeah, the ninja didn’t exactly like Gayle.

(...except for Dareth).

Cole just stared at her for a moment and mumbled a little “what?” before receiving a thumbs up from Kai, giving him the clear to climb the ladder. Jay, from his higher position on his rope, could tell that everyone from the building was now safe on the Bounty’s deck. He watched as Cole grabbed the ladder and held it tightly.

Cole didn’t struggle when he first grabbed the ladder, which is a fact that Jay constantly reminded himself of for the next few months. He remembered Cole’s exact actions- Gayle climbing the ladder, his friend looking mildly confused, remembering the urgency of the situation, looking up at Kai from the ship, placing his left hand on the ladder, then right, then hopping onto the last rung.

Jay looked up from the black ninja. “Ok, Nya-” he hesitated- “get us out of here!”

Back on top of the Bounty, things were crowded. Nya had barely even heard Jay through the noisy anxiousness and mindless chatter from the rescued civilians, but she was able to tune them out enough to focus on the task at hand. Cole and Jay were safe on the Bounty’s ladders, it was just up to her now- _her, it was up to her-_ it was up to her to drive the ship towards safety. It was her job. She didn’t even have to think about her response before she replied, “I’m on it!”

So Nya had a job. She wove her way through the crowd towards the controls, to find the thruster panel. How many times had she started the Bounty? She couldn’t count. She’d done it so many times that she just relied on muscle memory.

_If only she had been paying attention, if only she had learned from her mistakes, if only-_

Nya pulled the lever up (“uh, I keep forgetting that!”). The Oni fog grew closer.

Zane and Kai watched as the thrusters pointed backwards, facing Cole’s figure. 

Normally, Zane was calculated. Collected. He could assess most situations very quickly and easily; hell, _he was a nindroid!_ But this was different- Zane was scared for his friend. Jay too watched in some sort of horrific realization that the Bounty was about to go backwards and the Bounty’s propulsion system was about to blow up in his friend’s face.

Cole only had enough time to suck in a quick breathe before the thrusters were in full power- in reverse. Cole felt his hand slip- the next thing he knew, he was falling.

Falling. 

He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think, his hands couldn’t grasp the ladder. _His hands reached and he couldn’t grab the latter-_

His foot did, though. Too bad the left rope snapped. 

Jay saw his friend getting pulled by his foot across the NGTV’s roof, and the worst part was that he couldn’t do anything about it. He just gripped the ladder like a lifeline and saw Cole in desperate need of one. He felt his palms begin to sweat, and truthfully, he wasn’t able to pay attention to any one thing at the time.

Have any of your friends ever had a near death experience? It’s hard to think.

In fact, Jay didn’t even realize he shouted “Hang on, Cole!” Until he heard the earth ninja respond with a meek “I’m trying,” in which Jay also realized Cole looked terrified. His eyes were wide, but his face was emotionless- which is normal for him, but still- the look on his face made Jay want to throw up. It was _gut wrenching._ Jay was holding his breath-

-and finally exhaled. Cole had lifted himself up to grab the right side of the ladder. 

_“I got it! I think I did!”_

For a few milliseconds, Cole was safe and Jay could breathe.

So goes the world.

The next thirty or so seconds happened in slow motion. Let’s start with the obvious.

-the other side of Cole’s ladder snapped

-Jay screamed.

-Cole screamed too.

-Everyone watched what happened.

-Cole fell. Into the darkness. Into the fog. Zane later determined he fell approximately 928 feet, assuming he hit the ground.

-Nya, though, had no clue Cole had fallen, and wouldn’t find out what had happened until a few seconds later when her brother tried to grab the steering wheel of the Bounty and turn back for him. 

But Zane knew that wasn’t an option. Deep down, Kai knew too, but that’s the thing about shock- it makes you do weird things. _What did Zane know?_ That no one had ever survived a fall from that height. He knew that civilians’ lives were more important than their one brother’s. 

Have any of your friends ever had a near death experience? It’s hard to think.

Everyone was just in shock, because Cole had _died_ so, so fast. He fell in a span of thirty seconds- thirty seconds that dragged on for five minutes, then ten, then an eternity.

The Bounty continued to the monastery. No one spoke for a long, long time. Not until Pixal and Lloyd needed to be filled in on what had happened; then no one spoke for even longer. What was there to say?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i do actually have a tumblr now!!


	3. gravity.

icarus. **gravity.** the sea. now. never. nothing. alone.

The thing about dying is that people assume you breathe raggedly in, lodge air in your throat, and never release. The truth is, that’s not always the case. Sometimes, death doesn’t even mean you stop breathing. Sometimes death is experiencing a feeling for the last time, or leaving a memory behind you know you’ll never been able to live through again. Death doesn’t always mean your heart stops beating. 

Sometimes death is the notion in the twisted, darkest part of your mind that tells you ‘ _you’re alone. You’re all alone and no one is here to save you.’_

Cutting the poetic shit, Cole Brookestone lay dying. Or maybe he was already dead because he was alone. He was all alone and no one was there to save him.

It was cold. It was so, so cold, but Cole was numb. Also unconscious. And bleeding out. And he probably had a lot more wounds, too, like a concussion, broken bones, probably some internal bleeding, as you know, the typical injuries suffered from massive fall damage. 

The thing that occupied most of the ninja’s minds right now was a single thought-

_‘What if Cole’s dead?’_

____________________________________________________________________________

_The Oni had been defeated at the monastery with the help of Garmadon, who discovered that there really is more to life than surviving- he had a son, dammit. Faith was able to negotiate terms surrounding living conditions in the first realm. The ninjas realized, deep down, the Oni were never “morally bad” or “morally good,” because they acted out of self defense-_ sure, taking over a city may not have been the greatest form of self defense- _but nonetheless, some semblance of peace was made between the two._

_Wu was able to distract himself from the news of Cole’s fall with the imminent threat ahead of them. But now? What now? The Oni were a threat no longer...the fog was gone, and a hole was heavy set in the hearts of everyone._

_The master took it especially hard. He knew that they had to find Cole’s body in whatever condition it was in (_ burying a student was a thought that sickened him). _But Cole... he wasn’t Wu’s student. Cole practically raised his master and was more like a brother at this point._

_As the ninja gathered in the monastery’s courtyard after the Oni returned to the first realm, everyone knew what they had to do, but no one wanted to say it out loud._

_Pixal often noted that it hurt way worse to say things out loud than to say them in your head, and she figured that it was probably because when you said things out loud they became_ real. _Like, even if you_ knew _something had happened, as long as you didn’t say it out loud it was easier to ignore. But nothing can be ignored for too long before it becomes painful._

And First Master, _Pixal thought,_ this hurt.

______________________________________________________________________________

Well, here’s an update- Cole wasn’t dead. Not yet, at least. But, you know, time is of the essence when you’ve got multiple potentially fatal wounds and you’re bleeding out. 

But some good news was that the Oni fog was cleared and he was beginning to regain consciousness. _Or maybe that was bad news, because it means one particular black ninja was about to be in a whole lotta pain._

So. You remember the prologue? Because that moment is now. The elemental master of earth was dying and his friends were miles away wondering if he had already expired.

____________________________________________________________________________

Nya kept to herself.

Sitting in a circle were the nunchucks of lightning, the sword of fire, the shurikens on ice, each in the hands of their respective owner.

In her hands? In the same hands that pulled the lever up instead of down? Her hands loosely grasped the scythe of quakes. 

Her mind was racing but she didn’t know what to think- according to some “just statistics” from Zane, the chances Cole was already dead was really high. 

The ninja, plus Wu, Misako, and Garmadon, all sat in a circle. A circle with a gaping whole that may never be complete again because _goddammit their brother was probably dead_.

Jay looked up for a few seconds before breaking the silence. “We should,” he flinched. “We should go look for him. Before people start returning to the city.” There were a few nods in agreement. The master of water didn’t think they were just going to leave his body wherever it lay, but something inside of her hurt so much to see the corpse of her friend that _she killed._

Whatever expression she was wearing in an attempt to hide her guilt didn’t work out. Of course her brother knew something was wrong- he knew her better than anyone else on the team. As everyone stood up to get in the Bounty, Nya wasn’t surprised when Kai pulled her aside.

He gently tugged her sleeve and notioned with his head to step to the left. “Nya, is something wrong?”

_Was something wrong?_ Nya wanted to scream. _Everything was wrong!_ The voice inside of her head was furious. She wanted so badly to yell at her brother- why would he ask that?

But instead of a shout reprimanding Kai for his question, she let out a choked sob. “Every- everything is wrong, Kai, and it’s all my fault. _It’s all my fault._ Your best friend is dead and it’s all my fault. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry,” she was crying now. She buried her had into Kai’s shoulder and hiccuped. “ _I’m so, so sorry._ But no matter how much I wish it didn’t happen it won’t bring him back but that’s the part that hurts most of all.” Her arms held on to her brother’s like her life depended on it.

“That- that was a stupid question. My bad.” (Queue a sarcastic and muffled “ _you think”_ from Nya).

A few moments passed until the water ninja regained her composure and looked at her brother in the eyes. “Do you think he’s really dead?”

Kai glanced to the ground before finally speaking with an uneasy tone that made Nya’s stomach turn. “Hey, hey,” he cooed, “maybe, uh, closure will help. Let’s go meet up with everyone else.”

Nya noted that Kai didn’t answer her question as they turned to walk towards the Bounty.


	4. the sea.

icarus. gravity. **the sea.** now. never. nothing. alone.

Cole’s eyes fluttered open. 

Have ~~any of~~ you ~~r friends~~ ever had a near death experience? It’s hard to think.

And not only was it hard to think, but it was also hard to breathe because as soon as he opened his eyes he was immediately made aware of the immeasurable amount of pain he was in. It felt like his lungs were filling up with water and he felt like coughing, or choking, or both, but he couldn’t because everything took so much energy which he didn’t have. He couldn't sit up or even lift his head, and it was a struggle to stay conscious even though he knew he had to or he would die.

Or he would die. _I might do that anyway,_ he thought, or he thought something vaguely along those lines, and the worst part was that it didn't seem like such a bad option at the moment. _But your friends would be sad if you died._ He concentrated all his energy into thinking clearly. A few tears rolled down his sad, broken, beaten and bloody cheek.

_My friends. Would they be sad? They’ve forgotten me a few times. Will they forget me again? Would they be sad?_

He tried his best to analyze the extent of his wounds just based on how much pain different parts of his body were in. He couldn’t make a mental list, but he figured he had a few broken ribs; a concussion for sure; probably a few broken limbs; and definitely some internal stuff, considering he had gaping holes in his back and he was just laying pathetically in a little pile of his own blood. Any blunt trauma like that couldn’t have been good for like, your heart or something, and honestly, Cole could have kept counting his injuries but he was so tired and numb and his eyes were drooping and he was so scared they’d never open again.

He thought again about how it felt like his lungs were filling up with liquid. Once, when he was learning to swim, he felt this same way. Except for this time his mother wasn’t there to save him. 

His mother. 

(Whom, for the purposes of this story, I have decided to call Avani, which means “the good earth”).

* * *

Cole was four. 

Lou was off somewhere doing something with his friends. Something about music. Cole couldn’t exactly remember what he was doing.

But he was so excited because his mom was taking him swimming! He had swum before, he loved it, because he _loved_ the water and he _loved_ his mom! But this time was special.

...why was it special again?

“Because,” his mom answered as she buckled him into the car, “you’re going to swim without floaties today.” 

Oh yeah! That was why. He remembered now. 

His mother hopped into the front seat and shifted from park to drive. “We’re going to one of my favorite places, Rocky. It’s the water hole. No one will be there but you and me.” 

Just he and mama! How fun! 

It wasn’t very long until Avani’s gentle voice said, “Ok, Cole, we’re here. Wait for me to get our stuff before you get into the water, okay?”

“Okay!” Cole unbuckled himself from his seat and slid to the ground until his feet hit rocks. 

He reached out his little hand until it met his mother’s and they started to the water. 

“Look, Cole, the water’s perfect today.” She set down the bag on the shore and walked until she was ankle-deep in the water. 

She turned to face her son. “C’mon,” she said, gentle as always. “It’s not scary. Even without floaties.”

Cautiously, Cole stepped from the shore and into Avani’s arms. He giggled.

“It’s cold!” It was cold. The water was really cold, but he didn’t care. He felt really safe in the water with his mother’s arms around him. 

First, Avani taught Cole to float. Then basic paddling. Then, step three would be putting the two together and letting Cole swim. 

Everything went swimmingly until step three. Avani stood about 10 feet away from the shore, letting the water gently splash against her waist. Cole stood at the water’s base.

“Come on, Cole, come to mama!” He took one, then two steps until he splashed into the water and started paddling towards his mom.

“I’m doing it! Mama, I’m doing it!” He looked _so pleased_ with himself, so proud, Avani couldn’t help but smile.

. But just as fast as he was doing it, he wasn’t.

The elegant little strokes of his toddler arms turned into desperate reaches to anywhere above the water and his nose fell below the waterline. 

Avani wasn’t far away. Cole would not have drowned, but it sure did scare the both of them really good.

She decided they would come back tomorrow to swim. They were done for now. 

* * *

It was so, so nice to have his mother curl him into her chest when it felt like his lungs were filling up with water. Oh, to have that now. 

His mother.

They say there’s a pro and a con to everything. Cole guessed the upside to dying would be he’d finally be able to see his mom.

_His heart still beat, slowly, about every so often when he could muster a breath and not cry out in pain as tears mixed with blood by his head. For now._

* * *

The Bounty gradually made its way across the sky and towards Ninjago city.

Lloyd always felt like he had to be optimistic. As if he owed some part of his personality to everyone else. Like, if he wasn’t always thinking about the good opportunities from one outcome or another then his teammates would disown him or something. Lloyd wanted something _meaningful._ He would call himself a generally glass-half-full kind of person, normally, but now it was so hard to put on the facade that everything was going to be fine. He knew, deep down, that the relentless optimism wasn’t his personality. Especially not now. 

When it boiled down to it, Lloyd knew he had to express some emotion that resembled the current situation before his fake personality subsumed his regular one. His fake, cheery, optimism that he couldn’t have because truth is, he didn’t want to be disappointed. He would get his hopes up that his brother was alive and then he’d hit rock bottom when they would inevitably find Cole’s lifeless body. 

So no, Lloyd decided he wouldn’t say something encouraging to the group and instead opted to remain silent as the ship made its way to the NGTV building.

Wu was at the wheel; Zane and Pixal to his left, Misako and Lloyd to his right, Jay, Kai, and Garmadon off somewhere in the ship, and Nya as far from the wheel as she could muster. 

Zane looked up from whatever he was doing. 

“Is this what it felt like when I sacrificed myself?”

Wu was taken aback. “What do you mean, Zane?”

“This. This silence. It...it does not compute, Master. There is so much to talk about because we are all grieving yet we choose to remain silent. Was everyone this silent when I died?” 

“Yes, Zane. Everyone was quiet.” 

Pixal stared forward and met eyes with Lloyd, who seemed to be holding back tears. He fidgeted with some tool he had snatched from the control panel. 

Pixal hadn’t really understood true loss before, and how she wished she never had to. Seeing everyone like this- silent and miserable- was quite disconcerting, to say the least. 

Zane turned back to the control panel. “Thank you, Master. I’m sorry I put you all through that.”

Lloyd’s head shot up with wet cheeks. “Zane...don’t ever apologize like that again. Do you know how many lives you saved that day? You’re a hero. You’re the bravest person I know. And, you’re still here with us. That’s what's important.” 

Zane stepped towards Lloyd. He didn’t even say anything. He didn’t even have to. Lloyd just hugged him. Pixal joined in the now group hug after a few seconds. 

For a long while, they stayed there, just the three of them, in that same position, while Misako looked long and Wu guided the Bounty.

Meanwhile, the sun peaked above the NGTV building. Jay, Kai, and Nya were somewhere off in the ship looking at pictures and reminiscing about a time when they were complete. _(“Why do we just have a picture of Ronin again?”)_

It hadn’t even been a day since the fall. It had hardly been twelve hours.

Wu turned his head to face the other four people above deck. “Zane, will you prepare to land us? And Lloyd, will you go get the others?” Their sensei’s mouth curved downward and his face fell as he spoke in a monotonous tone. It was very clear that Wu was not looking forward to searching the surrounding streets of Ninjago for the black ninja’s body.

A sad and dry chorus of “Yes, master,” sounded above the deck. _No one_ was looking forward to doing this. 

Zane and Pix moved over to the control panel. The NGTV building touched the skyline of Ninjago; on any other day, Zane would have paused to admire the beauty of the sunrise swallowing Ninjago City. It was tragic that something so sad could happen on a day so beautiful. 

He watched as his hand moved to pull the lever that would neutralize the thrusters. Pixal spoke up softly, almost a whisper. “Zane, you don’t have to go down there if you don’t want to. I understand.” 

He let go of the lever and his blue eyes met hers. “I need to, Pixal. You must too. We owe him that.”

“Indeed, we do.”

Silence. Again. The same miserable silence that was somehow so loud.

The Bounty came to a gradual stop above the news building. Lloyd, Nya, Kai, Jay, and Garmadon emerged from the cabin of the ship, Jay especially wearing an expression that made Zane want to say _“Let’s go back! Cole’s waiting for us at the Monastery! He’s ok!”_

Garmadon was right. An event as tragic as this really impaired his sense of rational thinking. 

Instead, the right ladder was lowered. What remained of the left had been removed at the monastery after the treaty between the Oni and the ninja. One by one, in a single file line, each person climbed down the ladder onto the roof of the NGTV building where Cole and Jay stood not half a day ago.

“Okay, let’s go in there, find the body, and get out of here. I don’t think I can make it a few more minutes with you miserable people,” Garmadon called as he stepped off the last rung.

Jay looked to Lloyd. “And if he’s alive?”

Not even Zane had thought about what they would do if he was alive, because everyone kind of assumed he was dead. 

“If he’s alive,” Wu began, “we act fast.” That earned a satisfied nod from Jay, who began walking towards the door to the stairs of the building.

Before he could turn the door handle, Lloyd stepped in front of the group. “Before we go, we should split up. I’ll take Kai with me, Zane and Pixal, Jay and Nya, Dad and Wu. Mom, will you stay on the Bounty in case of an emergency?” 

“Of course.”

Lloyd sighed softly. “Good. Search every part of the building. If you find him, call over the comms and tell us where you are.”

The team split up and the search began.

Fifteen minutes later, Zane and Pixal were on the first floor of the building. They were led to a clear glass room that had a bloody and broken boy named Cole Brookestone laying in the center, covered in blood and shards of glass and other various debris. A quick vitals scan told Zane everything he needed to know.

“Guys, we found him…” Zane breathed.

Jay held his breath. “And?” he called. The other ninja listened intently.

“...he’s alive.”


	5. now.

icarus. gravity. the sea. **now.** never. nothing. alone.

Two months, eleven surgeries, and a long recovery process had passed since the fall. It was dinner, one night, and Kai had asked the very prompting question- “now what?”

Now what? Good question.

Cole was still confined to the medical bay, drifting in and out of sleep every so often and occasionally saying a word or two. Dreaming, breathing, dreaming about breathing, and every so often waking. But he was alive, and mostly stable, which is what really mattered.

Nya took a bite of her dinner, graciously cooked by Zane, and snorted. “What do you _mean_ ‘now what?’”

“I mean what do we do now? We just have to wait for Cole to get better and there isn’t anything to do around Ninjago. I want to do something.”

Zane rolled his eyes from across the table. “You could _start_ by doing the dishes, instead of whining,” which earned a laugh from everyone around the table.

A good laugh. Genuine. A much deserved and relaxing laugh.

~~______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________~~

Five months, eleven surgeries, and an even longer recovery process had passed since the fall. Nya still can’t bring herself to steer the Bounty, even though Cole has assured her, all of them many times, that he doesn’t blame them for anything that happened that day.

Nya knocked softly on Cole’s door.

“Come in,” he mumbled. He was still in bed, that’s where he spent most of his time, but occasionally he would join them for a meal or sit and meditate or watch the others mindlessly train. Nya cracked the door before coming all the way in and sitting at the edge of Cole’s bed. She sat there for some time before Cole could tell something was wrong- _he was so good at that,_ Nya thought, _he always has been-_ so he extended his hand to reach hers. 

“Are you okay?” He let out a soft laugh, almost just like an exhale. “Because I’m not really able to help with much right now.”

The water ninja tilted her head to meet Cole’s eyes. 

Nya didn’t say anything, but this pained look in her face must have told Cole there was something on her heart. She watched as he scooted closer to her and enveloped her in a hug.

No matter what happens, only death and life could permanently change things. And it was so relieving that Cole hadn’t died, because then nobody would ever get to be hugged by him _ever again,_ and it was something about his arms around your body that made the world go soft and every worry seemingly disappear. 

Nya knew of no other person whose hugs could make her feel so safe. She let the master of earth hug her- FSM knows she needs it.

“You can tell me if something’s wrong,” he muttered. “It’s okay.”

Because of course he knew something was on Nya’s mind.

She didn’t say anything for some time; she just hugged Cole for a few long minutes while she mentally assured herself that he was still there and not decaying in some building. She was sure to hug him gently, though. She couldn’t hurt him more than she already has. 

Nya cleared her throat. “Are you mad at me?”

Cole quickly recoiled and scoffed. “And what would I be mad at you for?”

Nya inhaled sharply and looked askance. “For...dropping you off the side of the Bounty?”

“You think I blame you for that?”

“Well, kinda-”

“Nya. No. I don’t blame _anyone_ for that. It wasn’t your fault, I can’t even believe you held yourself responsible for that for so long-”

“But you know _you_ would hold yourself accountable for something like this.”

Cole’s face fell. Nya looked at him and almost smirked. “Checkmate.”

“You got me there,” he smiled, with his hands up in the air as if he were surrendering to some force. Nya cherished that moment because it was the first time she had seen Cole smile in _so_ long, _too long_. In five months. 

“I would feel guilty...but I’m not saying you’re not allowed to feel that way. I’m just saying that I’m not angry at you nor do I blame you for anything. I- um, that’s all.”

_(About a year earlier, the two had decided “perfect match” meant platonically- they were naturally inclined to talk to one another, and conversation came easily.)_

Somehow, whatever Cole said always made Nya feel better, and vice versa.

~~______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________~~

Six months later, Cole returned to training- sort of- and was essentially “back to normal.”

Or so that’s what he said. And yes, Zane knew that physically he was mostly fine, but he was worried that Cole wasn’t healed _mentally._

Zane saw the way he flinched in the darkness, or when someone touched his back when he wasn’t expecting it. 

The nindroid supposed that was something only time could heal. Plus, for now, they had slightly bigger matters at hand- a serpentine named Aspheera who _really, really_ badly wanted to kill Wu.

 _After we defeat Aspheera, I’ll talk to him about it,_ Zane figured.

We all know what happened to Zane after they defeated Aspheera. He never got the chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is definitely just a filler chapter!! im lazy and should be studying for my ap exam tomorrow but instead im doing this.


	6. never.

icarus. gravity. the sea. now. **never.** nothing. alone.

It happened three more times. Cole nearly fell thrice more. 

It never got any less traumatic. The first was in the Never realm.

It was cold. Familiar? It should be. It certainly was for one particular ninja. 

Also, he among everyone else was hanging upside down from the crashed Bounty. Not particularly the greatest conditions, all things considered, but hey! It could have been a whole lot worse! 

Nya gathered herself, brushed off her suit, and walked towards the Land Bounty’s control panel. She pressed a few buttons before a broken map appeared on the screen. _Just our luck,_ Nya thought. She pressed her fingers to the bridge of her nose and took a deep breath. 

“We’re off the map. Coordinates unknown.”

“Well,” Cole started, “it looks like we at least made it. We’re not _total_ failures.” Jay shifted from behind Kai, and began to mutter something along the lines of _are you sure about that?_ before Lloyd cut him off. 

“From what Master Wu said, getting here isn’t the hard part. It’s getting home. The traveler’s tea?”

Cole crouched down to pick up the small brown sack by his feet. He nodded in affirmation to Lloyd. 

“Good. Whatever happens, don’t-”

The Bounty shook.

It could have been an earthquake, an avalanche, but Cole’s first thought was falling. Something deep down inside of him told him to run. Get out of the Land Bounty before it’s too late- again.

Jay shrieked, because _of course,_ something had to go wrong every time they ever tried to do any damn thing. _“What was that?”_ Maybe they were total failures.

Lloyd ran to the front of the Bounty. He peeked just barely enough over the edge to see that the ship rested on the precipice of a cliff, which they were promptly about to plummet over. Lloyd went ahead and made the assumption that it was probably more than 928 feet.

“Oh, no,” the green ninja turned slowly to face the others, “no, no, no-” 

Just as he was about to warn them _‘don’t come over here! walk slowly to the exit,’_ Jay was already by his side. “What? What is it…” he trailed off. “Oh, shit.”

Jay didn’t even need to tell Nya, Kai, and Cole that something was incredibly wrong. Nya immediately began to open the Bounty’s door and shouted, “We have to get out of here now!” She made a beeline for the door, dodging various objects that had fallen from the crash. The ninja followed suit. Most of the ninja. 

Cole was frozen. Once she, Jay, Kai, and Lloyd had made it safely onto the cliff’s edge, Nya turned to see Cole _deathly pale_ inside the ship, struggling to keep his balance as the Bounty continued to fall off the edge.

“Cole!”

She couldn’t bear to watch her friend die. Please, First Master, not again. _Not again._

Then, like a flipped switch, something in Cole clicked and it was as if he suddenly remembered his rather inconvenient situation. He jumped through the Land Bounty’s door, just in time.

His hand grabbed rock. Thank FSM. Unfortunately, he was still dangling from the side of a cliff, which to him, meant still in danger of falling. 

He looked up to see Kai extending a hand towards him. The red ninja playfully reprimanded his counterpart as he pulled him up to safety. “Hey, you really scared us there, come on.” Cole sank to his knees for a while and regained his breath; as did everyone else. Bless, he was scared half to death because he would do _anything_ to never relive the fall from the Bounty six months prior ever again.

Cloud Kingdom did not treat the ninja kind. 

Nya realized she was holding her breath and released. Memories really cut like knives.

Jay chuckled and faced the giant expanse of snow and mountain behind them. 

“Yeah,” he shivered, “worst parking spot ever.” He got a well-deserved slap across the face from Nya.

Cole stood up and breathed a sigh of relief. “I thought for a second, I thought-”

_I thought I was going to fall._

“Oh, no.” 

Jay stepped closer to his best friend. “What?”

Cole rubbed the back of his neck. “The traveler’s tea, it’s gone.” 

Lloyd knew to lose the traveler’s tea was a big deal, for sure, but how could he blame Cole? _Granted,_ he thought, _it wasn’t me who fell. But I would hate to have a similar experience to that again. He dropped it out of shock._

Lloyd and Nya watched as Jay started to shout to no one in particular. “Oh, this is great. Just amazing. Now we're stuck on a mountain in the middle of a blizzard with no vehicle, no supplies, and no way back!”

Enter Kai. He poked Cole in the chest, and though Cole was much taller than he, the black ninja seemed so small in that moment. “How could you drop it?”

Cole retaliated, just because he already felt really bad about losing their only way home back to Ninjago. “I- really, Kai? We almost _fell_ off a cliff! You don’t think I had other things on my mind?”

 _Kai, you absolute dumbass_ , Nya shook her head, _it’s trauma._

Lloyd interrupted, probably because their arguing wasn’t helping, and distracting Cole seemed like the best way to move forward at the moment. No, Lloyd had never fallen 928 feet, but he wasn’t a stranger to PTSD, and was pretty good at reading people, too.


	7. nothing.

icarus. gravity. the sea. now. never. **nothing.** alone.

  
  


It happened again. This time, it was in a video game.

Cole knew, at that moment, that nothing was real. It was just a simulation, he wasn’t actually falling again, he couldn’t die, he couldn’t experience pain as he had before-

but it still felt so real. Existentialism is a bitch. 

Red Visors were hot on the ninja’s trail. To make matters worse, they could fly, while everyone else was stuck pulling themselves up the Cliff of Hysteria on a rope that would snap if someone looked at it wrong. 

The visors began propelling themselves upwards and did not seem pleased with the ninja- it was vastly unfair to the red ninja that the visors could fly and they couldn’t. Kai grunted. “I didn’t know they could do that!” 

Lloyd’s eyes fell to the Visors, who were fast approaching them. He was almost impressed with how quickly Unagami found them if it weren’t for the fact that Kai had one life left, and a few shots could kill all of them pretty quickly. He rolled his eyes. “Raise your hand if you’re surprised at anything anymore.” 

Lloyd began climbing even more quickly, one hand on top of another, and such in rapid succession in some effort to outclimb the Red Visors. “Faster!”

Cole was climbing his rope as fast as he could, but he knew better- the visors would catch up to him, and they had guns, which kind of sucked when you only had a scythe and were dangling from the side of a mountain. 

A bullet shot just to the left of the master of earth- then just missed him on the right- and there was no way he could outrun the visors. 

He climbed faster. He had to, or he would lose a life, or worse, he would fall. “We’re sitting ducks up here,” he panted. 

Lloyd, Nya, and Kai readied their weapons. One of Kai’s hands grasped his sword; the other held on for dear life to a rope that _may_ or _may not_ hold his body weight for another minute or so. A few deflections, a few beheaded Red Visors here and there, and it almost seemed like they all might make it out without losing any lives.

And then, as a visor took a shot at Cole’s rope, the black ninja found himself on the Bounty’s ladder, where he stood seven months ago. 

He had lost his grip and was free falling again. Again. Again. 

A scream ripped from Nya’s throat; she knew that he would just lose a life, and he’d respawn, but quite frankly it was more of an emotional trauma thing more so than anything else.

“Cole!”

Not again. Not again. 

“Not again…”

But, just like when he fell from the Bounty, he caught the very end of his rope. He almost didn’t believe that his hands had caught his cable. His eyes widened in surprise- at first, his relief came out as a whisper- (“I’m okay…”) and then a shout. “I’m okay!” 

But no one was ever okay for too long. A Visor shot his rope at least thirty feet above him- it didn’t snap, not yet, but it was inevitably bound too. How ironic would it be if he fell again and this time his rope totally snapped? And he fell into some dark abyss again?

The rope above him was almost broken, but Cole didn’t dare look up at it. His breath caught in his throat, and he squeezed his eyes shut. _No, no, no…_

Then he heard Nya’s alarmed voice tell him what he was most afraid of hearing. “Cole! Your rope is breaking!” 

_If I could get past the break, I’ll be safe…_ he needed to climb. 

Nya wanted so badly to turn away. She didn’t want to watch Cole fall, because she hadn’t watched him the first time on the ship, but she couldn’t bring herself to peel her eyes away from him. She couldn’t help him at all, either. She could just shout- which wasn’t particularly helpful.

“Cole! Hurry!” She wanted to yell _Or you’ll fall again!_ ...but she didn’t. 

“I am hurrying.” Cole’s voice was surprisingly calm. 

“Hurry faster!”

Nya looked left and saw a visor headed straight for Cole, then looked right, and saw that Cole still hadn’t made it above his rope’s break. Upon looking even further right, she could tell that Kai, Lloyd, Jay, and Okino were slightly caught up in their own matters. 

The visor took a shot at Cole. Then another.

Kai, who had managed to fend off the visors attacking him, glanced left- then did a double-take. Cole’s rope was breaking and a visor was shooting right at him. Honestly, it was a miracle the visor hadn’t shot him already.

His sister shouted at the earth ninja, with a severity in her tone that was usually reserved for when she was stressed or angry. “Watch it, your rope is going to break!”

Now. Kai has had his fair share of impulsive ideas, and normally they were pretty bad. But what he was about to do was _definitely_ on his top ten list of “Kai’s most impulsive last-second decisions ever.” He jumped from his rope, held his breath, and prayed to the FSM that he would land on the visor’s drone in front of him. 

And thank the first master he did. 

Lloyd yelled “ _Kai!”_ and the red ninja couldn’t tell if his tone was angry, relieved, or somewhere between the two. Probably the latter. 

The master of fire relaxed ever so slightly when he felt his body on top of the drone. He stabbed his sword into the drone’s body. He wasn’t tech-savvy in the slightest, but that normally works in the movies, right? 

It worked well enough because now Kai could control the drone. And it looked like things were working in their favor, for once, for a millisecond, but then Cole’s rope broke.

Falling again. _And it had been what? Thirty seconds since he last fell? He can’t catch a break, can he?_ He was falling again. Indeed, the irony was almost poetic- cinematic parallels, if you will.

Fear is _such_ an elegant weapon. It manipulates you into immobilization, or it drives you down the side of a cliff. Either way, fear is so controlling. Especially fear about a specific event, because there is nothing for the longest time; the fear is dormant- and then, for a brief moment, the fear is blinding, and there is value and substance, and then nothing again, but during that moment of materialistic fear it is _so_ shrewd and machiavellian you cannot help but submit to the overwhelming urge to let it control you. 

It’s why people fight or flight. Immobilization or down the side of a cliff. It’s no wonder Cole Brookestone froze when his rope snapped. Somewhere far off in the distance, he heard Jay’s ringing voice calling out his name, and saw Jay’s terrified face looking down on him. He felt the Oni fog around him. 

_And that’s the thing about fear_. It takes you back to a time from whence you’ve grown and it pins you there. 

The feeling of weightlessness snapped Cole back into reality. He didn’t have time for any flashbacks now, he had a videogame to win, and he had friends to win it for. He double jumped to grab the rest of his rope, the part that was still connected to the clifftop.

He shook his head and _almost_ laughed. If only he could have double-jumped seven months ago.

Cole took in a deep breath. _They lied when they said it would get easier._

He continued climbing to the top of the Cliffs of Hysteria. 


	8. alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ofc our favorite little ninja fell again, so naturally, i felt obliged to update this fic
> 
> also- this is NOT a rewrite of the episode "the real fall" because that episode is honestly too funny to pull any angst material out of, so this is a rewrite of episode 7 of season 13- so spoilers for that episode.

icarus. gravity. the sea. now. never. nothing. **alone.**

Cole ran as fast as he could. He ran through the darkness of the mountain, and then even further. He ran until he was positive, _absolutely positive_ that there was no way the Skull Sorcerer was still behind him, and then he ran even further until he couldn’t run anymore. 

And it wasn’t that he couldn’t run anymore because he was out of breath, no, it was because he was dangling from the side of an underground cliff, holding only a mangled tree limb that awkwardly jutted out from the face of the rock. 

_And as if things couldn’t get any worse_ , he thought, _I’m alone._ _And if I do fall, I’ll probably get impaled by the giant stalagmites below._ As if falling was bad enough.

“Help!”

_No one is coming to save you, what are you doing?_

“ _Help!”_

_There isn’t anyone around to save you. If you keep screaming like this the Skull Sorcerer will hear you._

Cole actually had a hard time deciding which was worse- free-falling to his death or dying at the hands of the sorcerer.

He needed to calm down- he needed to think, he needed to make a plan, he needed to try not to fall to his death for the fourth time in a row-

He needed to not be alone, and he needed to not be dangling by his foot from a limb that probably couldn’t even hold Lloyd’s body weight. 

From the corner of his eye, he spotted a skeleton, and the sight made his stomach turn. _You’re not gonna end up like that,_ he reassured himself, _you’ll get out of here. Your friends need you._

Attached at the hip of the skeleton was a rope with a grapple. If he could just make it to the skeleton, he had a chance. He could make it out of here, find Wu, Vania, and the others, tell Vangelis what was going on, and save Shintaro- he just had to make it out alive first. 

Using all of his core strength, Cole began to swing himself towards the body.

Sweat beads formed on his forehead- swing out, then in. Out again, and he’d have enough momentum to jump to the decaying body.

A jolt of fear ran up his spine as the limb snapped mid-swing. 

He managed to focus for a split second, enough for his reflexes to kick in and grab the skeleton’s body, but his brain was going a hundred miles an hour and he wanted to scream- even if that meant the Skull Sorcerer finding and enslaving him. 

And yet, our black ninja clings to life. _Great,_ he cursed, _now I’m hanging from a skeleton who’s hanging from a limb on a rock._

In a swift motion, as if it were planned, the skeleton’s leg detached from the body- and fell into whatever depths of darkness lies below. 

There Cole was, hanging by one hand from a mangled pile of bones that could give way at any moment, leaving him to fall- again- to his death. And this time, he was so alone, more alone than he was when he fell into the Oni fog. 

Cole found it strange that sometimes the silence was even more isolating than lack of presence- he could recall many times when he was by himself but didn’t feel alone. But this? He was by himself and the empty call of the cliff was deafening. He had absolutely no hope of his friends saving him now, no, not here. Not here, not in the NGTV building. 

So he _could_ have recalled the times when he was alone-but-not-really. But alas, he did have slightly more pressing matters at hand.

The black ninja gingerly grabbed the grapple from the body’s waist. Cole silently prayed to the first master that the skeleton would _not_ collapse as he threw the hook up to the top of the cliff. 

The FSM is such a _dick_ though. The skeleton gave way as the grapple reached the top of the cliff.

The master of earth gripped the rope so hard that it might have snapped, and held his breath as he fell closer and closer to the rocks at the bottom-

-he exhaled when he felt the grapple latch onto a rock at the cliff’s edge.

Cole peered down to see what was below, just for a moment, what his fate could have been. It certainly wasn’t the freezing Oni fog, a snowy, foreign realm, or a video game, but probably a fatal fall nonetheless.

Cole shook his head. He began climbing the rope towards the cliff; the solid ground was where he was safe. One hand on top of the other, then two, then-

Then the rope snapped and he was falling again.

What is it with Cole and ropes?

Instinctively, he swung inwards, maybe he could grab the cliff somewhere, he could do _something_. 

The master of earth was met with a faceful of his own element. He had not fallen far before a jagged rock that stuck out haphazardly from the cliff had broken his fall. 

Here he was again, dangling from the side of a cliff. And now, there was a skeleton with a grappling hook to give him a sliver of hope that just _maybe_ there was a chance he could save himself. What now?

“Help! Someone!”

No reply. Surprise. 

_I am going to die here, I’ll end up just like the body. No one is going to save me._

Cole wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold his body weight, and his arms were getting tired and weaker. He was alone and the cave was silent.

That is until he heard a squeak that sounded an awful lot like the dire bats they first encountered before coming to Shintaro.

Hell, maybe there was a chance he was getting out of this mountain alive. Maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cut the cameras...deadass...this season was SO GOOD and everything cole deserves


	9. epilogue- spirit.

epilogue-  **spirit.**

Opportunity had a twin. Her name was Spirit. Spirit was also special. 

Spirit defied all odds and she, too, lived past her ninety-day life expectancy. Spirit died in 2011 after getting stuck in a sand trap and was rendered unable to recharge her batteries. 

Consider-

The NGTV building was a sand trap.

Ninjago City is Mars.

And Cole Brookestone? He’s just a special little rover who defied all the odds.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that's all from me!! i am so welcome to constructive criticism as well!
> 
> tumblr here: imthepointe.tumblr.com


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